Tuesday, 13 November 2012

Trust You

could I love in silent could I love in distance?
could our mind in fusion when we not in vision?
Keep trust,
Lord keep my heart with patience keep my heart with passion,
Keep it for great mission and keep it for good relation. 

Wednesday, 12 September 2012

apart me Love

As I fly, I soar high seeking dreams, love above altitude, 

see you shine, you stand out, with halo in midst of multitudes
my prude attitude?
often I asked, always I prayed, for God with much gratitude 
actions, of no reaction, make heart feelings fall platitude

Thursday, 10 May 2012


thou lust in my heart tried lead me to adultery,
and worst walking my flesh out of Lord's territory
mercy delivery,
like carry blood away from the heart by artery,
Lord says: my Child, fear not! seek peace in Monastery.
 ·  ·  · 48 minutes ago ·
    • Jon Black is this the real life? is it just fantasy?
      caught in a landslide; no escape from reality
      open your eyes, look up to the skies and see...
      24 minutes ago · 
    • Jonathan Tew i believe life is real and life can be fantasy
      God is mighty and real but never a fantasy
      God send sunlight even when dark is reality
      close your eyes, thru prayers from heaven our Lord shall see
      12 minutes ago · 

Monday, 5 March 2012

Heart trip

If one day my love could stop like my heart beat,
then my flesh never will burns when it meet heat,
soul bleeds,
my heart hunger for you like wolves hunger for meat,
my world fades without you like beer without wheat.


Tuesday, 24 January 2012

Turning point.?

So long... I wonder my heart still can keep the heart I hold for the person I waited so long or there is someone able to break the defense in my heart.. Lead me lord I pray..

Wednesday, 24 August 2011

changing life style...1

... a lot of things happened since i last post here... i wonder , Am i able to account everything out and reflect on my decision made so far..:P...i will try....

no...I MUST..not only/ just try..

Monday, 11 April 2011


it was science taught me weights of air is measurable,
and through you I learned sorrows can be uncountable,
who once taught me to nurture exhausted heart with tears?
made scent of affection surrounds by fragrant of fear.


Thursday, 24 March 2011

i wonder how was the wind and the lovely blue sky,
as i haven't spread my wings and kept it at all time,
so long..
till i forget that there were once that i'm able to fly,
instead of hiding in dark without any tears to cry.
Lord's shower of blessings rains while my spirit feels dry
such imperfect people still God you lifted me high
how great..
God's grace is upon grace even so little we try
Father in heaven in you I hide for You I shine.


Sunday, 20 March 2011

20/3/2011 journal..

quite sometime i didn't journal in blog.

things happen quite a lot...
this march seem passing very fast, i went back to penang to coach in ANTS(advance NCO trainning school). well at least i made my promise to serve in Boys brigade and i did.Well good to hope in the young people and learn a lot them. and to my suprise was that Christine from perak make it to ANTS as an officer.things change.oh,and when i was back there i realise my parent keep me in dark about my grandma, that she couldnt walk as she fell down from the chair during CNY. Now she has to walk slowly using the aid. Parent want me to focus on my study and keep this away from us, grateful when they send me back to kl by picking me up straight from camp site in teluk bahang, going there from my house will be like an hour drive...thanks mom and dad.
my sister Grace is transfer back to penang yesterday. hope she fit well and take care of them..

and i took up the easter production at the last minute, kee aun was like call me in 10pm and i say yes without thinking too much. God have His own plan for everyone, every year easter or every project have its own problems, like i say in last year, we still have the same God to guide us thou we have different team and people. now it is two day before the D -Day , we have nothing else but trust in Him, hope i can , no ..i will write a grateful post about it , like i did last two year, Lord we pray for your grace and mercy..

this may gonna host life game, it seem not progressing, wonder where would i be, the next 3 months. but struggle when mom offer me to go for Euro trip... aiz.. guess gonna miss it for Life game..but trust God for things to come.

and the greatest fear for me now is .. my thesis which have to be written in German. havent finalize everything but will have to pass up 1st draft this coming Friday..my supervisor was awesome. but just that i have to brush up my language skill.. and hope he can understand what i write.

talking about language skills, i counted and found i learn 10 new languages in UM, majoring German, followed by tagalog,Spanish, Portuguese, french, Italian, Japanese, Dutch , russian,
and this sem Korean, really need time to master all. but think the most enjoying will be korean as having Jonathan and helen and seong jin and sophee in the scene. a christain base enviroment realy is different.

think my greatest joy so far is to have great fellowship with friends ,like,see zoey coming back from uk. and the fellowship with shu kheng and cell group and people all around, having putting all the worries behind and release myself. letting go my grief aint easy, but it willl be an ongoing assignment =D.

march is coming to an end.. and start wondering about my future,master ...work.. love..ministry..
but, in God we trust. in God all things are possible.

Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Dear Jonathan, I'm sorry

Dear Jonathan,

I'm sorry that i cause so much pain for you, there is a list, i wonder if you would even read it, but still

i'm sorry

that i brought her into the room the frist place and trap her by vanishing the door

even though i lost the door key when she first step in.

i'm sorry

that the present you plan to buy for her remains behind the windows of the shop,

and her birthday presents you bought turn out to be blessings to your sisters.

i'm sorry

that i pulled you behind, when you wanted to grab her hand so many times

or make you let it go when wanna hold it longer.

i'm sorry

for making you write your hidden blogs for days when i remember her,

and somehow you make it a habit,

but make you delete the thousand-posts on the day you thought your story should ends,

maybe "sadness" should take the blame, but it was a bit my fault too..

i'm sorry

that keep telling you God might have a better plans and better person for you,

and move you to change to a better man before you spilt your feeling out.

well you did change a bit, but i still feel i was wrong about the right timing part.

i'm sorry

that i make you thinks that distances will bring you apart from her,

and time will heal and pains will go,well you proved me wrong all this while,

i think maybe the main reason was i keep her here all along.

but i really couldn't found the key

or the unlock button to let her out.

i'm sorry

to make you think so far away, before you have the chance to even get start with her,

families, cultures,religions, the ministries, or even the time you would fight which never happens,

i know i could always blame that to "imagination" or "planning",but i was the one started it right'?

i'm sorry

to keep your finger feel tired, everytime you feel that you wanted to

text her, or write more with the keyboard

i thought you might be tired after a long wait to see her online,

"brain" should take some blame for this one, but i know it was because i wasn't strong enough

i'm sorry

i laughed when i heard bruno mars sing grenade,

and it gonna be pretty scary to appear to girl

if your head was bleeding and have a bullet in it,

but i sure you love and could far more for the girl with a better solution,

dead wasn't the only thing you wanna show her, but the love within.

i'm sorry

i'm sorry

i make you write poets for her, wrote songs for her

but never let her knows, well,some remain in your mind and

her might come across a few when "sorrows"ask you to published it,

but most of them are gone when you press "yes" to the pop out

when the adminstrator ask you to think twice,

i know, i wasnt strong enough.

i'm sorry

i make "brave" absent when you try to talk more to her,

but at least "happy" was here when she smile,

though most of the time you saw it online or from the corner she wont see you.

i'm sorry

when you have a chance to be in the picture with her,

you stand close but never too close to her,

or even turn out be the man which ask the people to smile before the clicks,

as it was another chance she could smile at you,

i know, because i wasnt strong enough.

i'm sorry

to bring "bitterness" and "lonelines" to you,

like days of christmas, valentine, or any random days

when you was at midst of crowd with or without her,

the same thing was you havent try to let her know me.

i'm sorry

sometimes you happiness are followed by thinking

if she could be here to share with you,

and your smile get bigger when i saw "disapointment" knocking.

no one know but, i do. or maybe now some do.

i'm sorry

to keep you focus on other things

when you try to go to work to fill up you dating fund,

and make you believe money could be the reason for a successful relationship.

and make you stop trying.

i know, i wasnt strong..enough..

i'm sorry

i'm sorry

i'm sorry

i'm sorry

for things i said,

for things that i done.

and for things i never say and never done.

i'm sorry

that i put more than a person at my place now,

and you have to help me burried the previous ones deeper,

i know it couldnt be erased,

my habit of losing the key havent change,

but you could to make more room for the new one.could you?

And i think Jesus wouldnt mind having an old neighbour right here.

i don't know what will happened next,

but this time, i will be strong, at least stronger.

for you ,

be with you and

always pumping,

right inside you,

like Jesus stay in me,

till God bring us home,

for you.


Your heart.

on the 9th of march 2011

p/s: turn your sighs to prayer whenever you miss her in your sleepless night again, i feel better everytime you did it:)

Monday, 7 February 2011

whole soul?

yes there are something i never told another soul,
the list go on and on and never fill up the scroll,
like wormhole,
though the flame turn weak when the water meets with charcoal,
it never cold till i meet the one who make me whole.


Wednesday, 19 January 2011

here I hear

with open hearts lying on grass and eyes filled with tears,
your tears turn the vision blur till it flow to my ears,
souls near,
and the wind sings fear not as God shall turn your sky clear,
my dear my dear i wonder do you hear what i hear


Friday, 31 December 2010

end of 2010..

our God is the potter and in his hands we are clay,
need not to worry because there's God as we pray,
last day,
stories that we can't forget just shall we let it stay?
angel on earth where are your shoulder for me to lay?


Tuesday, 14 December 2010


like the petrol that make the functioning engine start,
a simple act or smile can easily touched ones heart,
blind dart,
love of success is neither well-planned nor being smart,
thou Shall leave everything to God after worked his part.

Sunday, 5 December 2010

hard wait...

as her heart was broken and build between us a gate,
restore not by time but only by His grace His faith,
can't wait,
the pain remains when god is not seen in the new date,
thou suffer for willling both but until then, i wait


coward's cave

Why to many could I easily started to rave,
but in front of her hardly could I find the word brave,
time pave?
her ears shall never hear for her how my heart have crave
as the love will treasured within and buried to grave.


Wednesday, 1 December 2010

soulless king

like canary at dawn with songs but dare not to sing,
or the eagle on ground with eager spread not its wing,
poor thing,
life turns a man that owns a kingdom not called as king.
when the diamonds on her finger carry not his ring.


Friday, 26 November 2010

seek and hide

wonder in cold dark night how the hot bright sun should shine,
and wonder how she feels whenever she hears my line,
I'm blind,
always as motionless as mountain she says I'm fine,
my wavy emotions sings she'll never be mine.


Tuesday, 19 October 2010


can i not listen to angel of evil and good?
and wound the sorrowful spirit with fearless with wood.
oh lord
Father in heaven bless me not with misery mood,
cure please my disconsolate moments of lonelihood.


Monday, 18 October 2010

the flashback

as the blue sky covered by thousands deadly sparrows,
all i can do is scarecrow there and let the wind blow,
don't know
will my heart ever stop soar for rhythm of sorrow
or never cease till my hair grow-ed to colour of snow.


Sunday, 17 October 2010


i wonder how was the wind and the lovely blue sky,
as i haven't spread my wings and kept it at all time,
so long
till i forget that there were once that i'm able to fly,
instead of hiding in dark without any tears to cry.


Thursday, 16 September 2010


let it be two more m..

PKV T.H.E camp 2010...(the pre-camp reply):P

And it all start with this message from the camp committee..

Greetings in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ!! =)

If you're getting this email, it's because......

YEP YOU ARE COMING FOR PKV'S T.H.E. CAMP 2010! And you know what, it's going to be awesome! I can feel it in my bones!

So anyway, here's a few reminders and instructions that you will need.... so READ carefully yah.

*deep breath* Here goes.

1. The private bus is not allowed to enter university. Thus, all campers are to meet at

a) UM main bus stop (behind library) at 8am OR
b) In front of MAHSA College at 8.30am, where the bus will be.

So yep, we will have to walk over from the bus stop to MAHSA. But no worries, heavy luggage will be driven there.

2. If you have lost the other 2/3rd's of your form, here are the things to bring:

a) Bible (dont want share share, bring your own if you have)
b) Stationery (plus an extra notebook, if you write alot)
c) Thicker clothing (a jacket will be good for nights)
d) Toiletries (especially toothbrush!)
e) Torchlight (just in case)
f) A small gift (worth RM5 and below, bought or handmade, doesnt matter)
g) Sportswear (especially comfortable shoes to walk around, run around in)
h) Money for the remaining part of your fees (if you have not paid in full)

Lastly, bring an open heart for God to work in :)

So, that's it for now. We are very thankful that you have decided to invest these 4 days to attend the camp. We believe it is no mere coincidence but that it is God's will that we will all be gathered there under one roof to worship Him as one body and to learn more about Him together. Continue to uphold the camp in prayer as the committee works out the final kinks and also for each and every camper that nothing will deter him/her from attending the camp.

Anyhow, keep checking your mail regularly between now and saturday in case of any updates. Feel free to email me back with any further questions.

And please, reply me with a simple "noted.", "seen", "ok" or anything, just so I know you've read the email and gotten the important information :) Thanks!

T.H.E. Camp Committee 2010 =)

"And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, He will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?" - Matthew 6:30

"Life is too short. Start living now."

and someone decide simple @noted ain't enough..so..
we have

such an email deserves a worthy reply,
all the information contained within, fully read have I,
hardy can I wait for our departure on Saturday,
till then, back to assignments, which hold my joy at bay.

2) Contents of your email read and understood
Would go down to Camerons today if I could
Assignments and tasks to complete, we should
From now till then, I brood

Emily chow

and 3)Hyma

lack I the skill, of writing in rhymes,
but one thing's for sure,
can't wait for saturday
i have no more assignments to hold me down (yay!!)
just a lot of free time to watch supernatural=D

Here I go with my part of the rhyme
Just when I thought last year would be the last time
I'd be at camp; here I am where it began
At my first in 2008, in Camerons once again.

Can't wait to rendezvous up on the hills
With you dear friends and our Lord until
With strength renewed, borne by the Lion's roar
We'll walk till we run, and run till we soar.


5)Emily tang
Like a bee buzzing through the night
Reminding myself His yoke is easy and burden light
Saturday will come and we shall meet
That glorious day, my joy complete. Wee~


6)yes I know you can all rhyme,
I think just a yes will do just fine,
no need to show off, my oh my,
on Saturday I guess I'll see you guys.

Alan Teong

7)i'm looking forward for this Saturday,
hope it's gonna be a good day,
to see all the rhymes just made me laugh,
for people to reply it's too tough.


oh what a letter that come with so many surprise,
which uncover the talents of replying with rhymes,
other than just noted with thanks my sister in Christ,
any friendly neighbours wouldn't mind give me a ride?
God bless,

Jonathan ('',)

Ooh, a poetic flow I see going on
I shall join too with my simple respond
A "noted", a "seen" and an "OK!" to say
I promise to come on time this Saturday :D

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:13

10)ruth choy
Oh how I would love to entertain,
But sadly tis' not my thing,
Can't wait for camp to start,
I truly dread this week.

Noted. Thanks for the email~ =)

and all of sudden...

Edwin Renggie

Noted see u guys there!

Sent from my iPod

but luckily other spoted..

i'm not sure why everyone's replying it rhymes.
i really have too much to do and i'm running out of time.
thank you lydia for the reminder, this camp i anticipate,
well now, look what i've done (hehe) cant wait!! cant wait!! cant wait!!!!

whooops.. i mean jonathan!! :P

since this is a talent-time
i too have my own silly rhyme:
Dayung sampan di Selat Melaka,
Nelayan semua kacak-kacak belaka.
Ingin saya merompak mereka,
Untuk alih perhatian, saya melaung "Merdeka!"
no, nothing to do with camp it has
but that's the point of being lame, i guess.


Gmail's being a snail.
Was too frail, on the bed , i fell.
Woke up in the morning, already pening.
It's bothering, cause work's piling.
Nevertheless, Camp's coming, I'm Definitely going.
No need to worry, it's going to be merry!! ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶


and here come our literature authority!!

..Dear Mr/Miss Organiser, must the "small gift" be gift-wrapped?

I'm wondering if I should say anything about the samples of poetic
expression offered on this thread...especially the various types of
rhyme (and non-rhyme)...some of you even mastered true rhyme! (Yes,
there's such a thing) :P

yy leong

and the commitee reply

...Hahaha. Well. It's up to you if you wanna wrap it or not. More suspense if you do? hahaha. hannah, what say you?

Lol go ahead, grade the poems! :D leniency is much appreciated :P

Lydia lee

LL and YY why didn't you continue the flow,
put out the fire and the fun like the candles you blow,
if you remember the message opposite below,
poor jonathan tew still searching for friends to follow.



15)and the repented

my bad previously I didnt rhyme,
wasnt aware of it at the time,
Camp is coming up im sure it'll be awesome,
we'll have a blast and then some.

hahaha, See u guys this Saturday!

edwin douglas


A great big thank you i hereby extend
For all the email replies in this short time span
Whether it was a rhyme or just a simple "okay"
My heart appreciates it all anyway :)

See all of you this Saturday ya! 8am at main bus stop OR 8.30am at MAHSA College junction :)

Punctuality is much desired. Time waits for no man... Hahaha. Looking forward to camp!

God bless,

17)Time waits for no man;
It is a lifeboat, for women and children first
Who cannot else get away, they climb
Up and in, as fool follows fool, and slowly leave.

Time does not wait.

Time waits if it can;
So Tolkien wrote, of the Witch King's bloody thirst
That he who must slay, must in his time
By Eowyn's rule be of the race of Eve.

Time lies in state.

ben ongWe shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.

-- T.S. Eliot

such wonderful people isn't it?


Tuesday, 7 September 2010


"start writing and u will love writing...."

somehow it just doesn't apply on me..

whatever on my mind seem not logic at all.

logic is not just 1 and 0




Thursday, 2 September 2010

To you;)

Three men were
hiking through a forest...


when they came
upon a large raging, violent river.

Needing to get to
the other side, the first man prayed:
' God, please give
me the strength to cross the river.
God gave him big
arms and strong legs...
and he was able to
swim across in about 2 hours,
having almost
drowned twice.
After witnessing
that, the second man
'God, please give
me strength and the tools to cross the river'
God gave him a
rowboat and strong arms and strong
and he was able to
row across
in about an hour
capsizing once
Seeing what
happened to the first two men,
the third man
'God, please give
me the strength, the tools and the
intelligence to cross the river'

She checked the
map, hiked one hundred
yards upstream...

and walked across
the bridge
Guys, if at first
you don't succeed, do it the way
your wife told


credit: internet source

Wednesday, 1 September 2010

wake me up when september ends

september starts.... what?! september already...

gosh, i have so many things not yet done... i got papers.. i got tests... i got..

what have i done so far?

many a time i always worry for thing i haven't done..
and this make me see things that are done not in my sight.

maybe i just should focus one thing a time..
focus one at one time.

may it be study,

may it be serving,

may it be activities,

may it be love.

one at a time.

focus things one at one time.


Tuesday, 24 August 2010

Pray 15 minutes and listen for an hour

I used to go to church and hear the preacher say,
If you don't have Jesus, you'll be in hell someday!
The preachers used to preach hard and by the hour.
I heard one say, "Pray 15 minutes and listen for an hour."

I heard many prayers to Jesus, like he was Santa Claus;
heard many of them pray for just their maws and paws.
Then, I heard one old meek preacher pray for more power.
He said, "Pray for 15 minutes and listen for an hour."

Well, do you know that, after many a year,
I learned to reach the heart of God's ear?
He whispered, softly, in my ear, "Want more power?
Just pray for 15 minutes and listen for an hour."

The lesson that I learned, from my God,
as for years and years I prayed, "Help me, God,"
He said, "Won't ever learn, the way you have, for power.
Just simply pray for 15 minutes and listen for an hour."

Well, it finally reached my heart from my ear.
The power, He gave to me, fills me with cheer.
He whispered to me, "One way to real power
Is to pray for 15 minutes and listen for an hour."

Praise the Lord for the blessings He gives.
Through hours of prayer, I really know He lives.
For, He showed me the way to more, more, power.
Now, I can pray forever and listen by the hour.

© by (Howard) Vern Nicholson

Thursday, 22 April 2010

Toothache v2.0

1st conversation:
location:UM room 414 college 7th
phone to UM dental clinic..

tut tut..
"hi, can i make an appointment today?"
appointment today?appointment is available next 3 month.
are you having pain now?
"yes,can i se..."
pain come now la, buat apa make appointment..?cepat sikit la..
"...thank you.."

level of pain from scale 1-10: 4
mood: thankful and weird though..

2nd (numerous)conversation:
location:UM dental clinic
time: 913

register counter
"please seat and wait for a while" .1 =5 minute
emergency counter
"please seat and wait for a while" .2 =17minute
bring to doctor room
"please seat and wait for a while" .3 =7minutes
(sign some gift-card to colleague)
after inspection(bout 5 minutes)Now around 9:30
"please seat and wait for a while" .4 =6minutes
waiting room
"please seat and wait for a while" .5 =38minutes
after asking :"how long will it take?"
"please seat and wait for a while".6=20minutes
waiting and reading exam note at waiting room.now around 10:40
"please seat and wait for a while".7 =24minutes
bring me to execution room(i don't know the real name)
"please seat and wait for a while".8 =3minutes
doctor come and inspect then injection of drugs
"please seat and wait for a while".9 =9minutes
before start to extract:(11 something d)
"please relax it will take a while". =XXXXminutes

doc:(medical terms..instruments ...medical terms...instrument.... medical terms)
me: ar ...ar..arrr.. ar... argh!!
and my mouth keep opened.

send to x-ray counter
"please seat and wait for a while".10 =4minutes
wait for x-ray
"please seat and wait for a while".11 =16minutes
"please seat and wait for a while".12 =2minutes
back to surgery room

doc:(medical terms..instruments ...medical terms...instrument.... medical terms)sorry soory..
me: ar ...ar..arrr.. ar... argh!!

(now is 12:13)
doc:still got two roots inside..
please come back at 2:30pm.

!!???i tot only a while.?

Ps:sorry, tomoro got test .so cannot write too much..but the doctor and people there are very nice and professional other than the waiting part.

to be continue..

Monday, 19 April 2010

the reason

...:"why is this happening?why?"

.........:"it just happened, the results is already there,"


.........:"the reason is added after we know the ending result."


...:"why are you doing this?"

.........:"you will have the reason ,"

"After I determine the ending !"